ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 25 AUGUST 1962
You said "my For You page knows me so well".
It knows you're awake and lonely at 2 a.m. That's not a gift. That's data.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your friends' group chat went quiet. It didn't. They made a new one. Same…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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