ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing.
When you leave, someone will fight over the plant.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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