ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your thirties are your twenties with consequences.
The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports straight to your liver.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- You said "my For You page knows me so well". It knows you're awake…
- Skipping your daily coffee won't buy you a house. Nothing will. Have the coffee.
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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