ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Monday morning has the energy of a printer that knows you're in a hurry.
The printer has better job security.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You're "so random". You've told the same "so random" story at every party since…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- Your partner says they'd be lost without you. They'd be lost for about eighteen…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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