ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The light at the end of the tunnel is someone asking, "Can you see my screen?"
You can. You always will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- Limited-time event. Will not return. Neither will your Saturday.
- You've "been meaning to" for three years. The thing you meant to do has…
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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