ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You have an eleven-step skincare routine.
Your sleep schedule has none. The serum is doing its best. It isn't a miracle worker.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- You film "Sunday reset" videos. By Tuesday your room has reset itself, to Saturday.
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- Wealth is built slowly. Debt is built quickly. And it's hereditary.
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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