ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Step outside your comfort zone. It's raining out there, everything costs more, and nobody…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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