ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- Your squad misses you, says the notification. Your squad is four strangers and a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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