ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your alarm didn't wake you.
The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- Tomorrow is a fresh start. Your problems have the new address. They've already moved…
- Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone. Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do…
- You're not broke. You're pre-rich. The "pre" is permanent.
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- Ghostlighting is when someone disappears for eight weeks and comes back with "you've been…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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