ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime.
They said that last time. Your lifetime is very important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your startup is a chatbot that tells customers they're right. Investors loved it. The…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- You can do anything you set your mind to. Your mind has set itself…
- Someone laminated an "Acceptable Behaviour" poster for the office kitchen. It will still be…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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