ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your teenager isn't ignoring everyone.
Just you. You're saved in their phone as "Do Not Answer".
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- Don't settle. Your standards already have. They didn't tell you.
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
- Inside every older person is a younger person. The younger person is furious about…
- Your company will send flowers to your funeral. They'll be charged to your department's…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- You "don't do small talk". You also don't do big talk, phone calls, emails…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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