ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- You call it a "situationship" because "relationship" would mean someone has to commit to…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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