ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You say you're "an old soul".
You're 21. The only old thing about you is your phone's battery health.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Work smarter, not harder. You've chosen neither, and HR has a folder.
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You're "healing your inner child". Your inner child is fine. It's your outer adult…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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