ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The bins are now fortnightly. The council tax is still monthly.
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You call yourself "a bit of a foodie". You've ordered the same chicken 64…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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