ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
“Too close to call” means nobody knows.
It is said by people paid a lot to know.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- They're on a comeback tour. It's the fourth. They have never been anywhere long…
- Your therapist said set boundaries. You set one. Then texted them at 2 a.m.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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