ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
- Everything happens for a reason. The reason is you. It's always been you.
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- "It's only Monday" is the most threatening sentence in English. It will be only…
- You manifested your dream job. The universe received the request, checked your CV and…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
- Your 5am routine went viral. You did it once, filmed it, and have slept…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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