ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner.
You'll eat standing up for eighteen years. Then sit down and forget how.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You said "that's so me" about a horoscope. It also described 600 million other…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- Every summit sends a very strong signal. The planet keeps not receiving it.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people. All of them are "just seeing…
- Nobody has ever said "thank goodness it's Monday". Except a manager, and he meant…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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