ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your company will send flowers to your funeral.
They'll be charged to your department's budget.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Things will look better in the morning. No. They'll just be better lit.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Sleep when the baby sleeps. Also pay the mortgage when the baby pays the…
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- Till death do us part. Not a vow. A fixed-term contract with an unspecified…
- Your fitness journey started on the second of January. It ended on the fourth.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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