ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- The update is 200GB. Your free afternoon was smaller.
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- The retirement age goes up a year every time you check. It's not a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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