ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- They'll hold a minute's silence for you at the all-hands. It will be the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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