ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you. It's not proud. It's given up. Even…
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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