ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your Duolingo owl has stopped threatening you.
It's not proud. It's given up. Even the bird has moved on.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Strangers online have voted you "not wrong". The same strangers once voted to give…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something. It landed.…
- The battle pass costs £9.99 a season. Your childhood cost nothing and had better…
- A full review is ongoing. Ongoing is a very comfortable place for a review…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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