ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your toddler has stronger opinions about sock seams
than you've had about anything since 2011.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Life is short. A measurable chunk of it will be spent in the post…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- They say sweat is weakness leaving the body. Yours has decided to stay.
- You "can't do mornings". You also can't do afternoons, evenings or emails.
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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