ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The spark never fades.
It gets downgraded to bin bags, then to a joint funeral plan.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- Your thirties are your twenties with consequences. The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports…
- Every Monday you swear this week will be different. You've sworn it nine hundred…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- Nothing says adulthood like being excited about a new kettle. The kettle will outlast…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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