ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Everyone's bringing back the dog filter.
Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look on its own since March, and it doesn't come off when you close the app.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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