ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SATURDAY, 21 APRIL 1984
Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January.
It's been screaming quietly ever since.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- They posted an apology in the Notes app. It was addressed to the fans.…
- “Too close to call” means nobody knows. It is said by people paid a…
- The first email you open on Monday is a reply-all from Friday. Forty replies.…
- The best time to start saving was twenty years ago. The second-best time was…
- Being a parent means eating cold crusts standing up and calling it dinner. You'll…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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