ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
TUESDAY, 18 SEPTEMBER 1984
Scale your business.
Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one candle out of pity.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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