ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your alarm didn't wake you.
The dread did. It doesn't have a snooze button.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Per my last email" is the closest you'll ever get to a duel. You'll…
- Scale your business. Currently it's you, a laptop, and your mum, who bought one…
- You're "manifesting abundance". The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Be yourself. Everyone else is taken. They were picked first. You're what was left.
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Being single means nobody steals your duvet. It also means the duvet is the…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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