ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your resting heart rate is excellent.
It's had nothing else to do.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- "Let's take this offline" means "let's never speak of this again." That's also the…
- You asked the chatbot if you were a good parent. It said "absolutely" before…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- You moneymaxxed so hard this month you earned $4.80 in cashback. It cost three…
- Somebody, somewhere, is checking their phone hoping it's you. It's a debt collector.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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