ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You received 40 fundraising texts today.
Democracy needs $5 by midnight. Every midnight.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Everyone's bringing back the dog filter. Your face has been doing the droopy-ears look…
- You "love deeply". Mostly a fictional man who doesn't know you exist. Neither do…
- A budget is a list of things you're about to do anyway. Written down…
- He vanished for five months, then texted "haha so true" like he'd just popped…
- You call it "quiet quitting". Your manager calls it "the same as before". Nobody…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- The in-office lunch is optional. The man with the clipboard and no sandwich is…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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