ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Beach body ready?
The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't waiting for you.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
- The award show ran four hours. The only winner was the advert break.
- Your back now goes out when you sneeze. It goes out more than you…
- Your call is important to us. Not important enough to answer, but important.
- You said you're "so busy" this week. Your screen time says eleven hours a…
- You're "on a gap year". It's your third.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 446
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