ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Your thirties are your twenties with consequences.
The hangover lasts until Wednesday and reports straight to your liver.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You asked the internet whether you were the bad guy. The internet read the…
- You're "chronically online". Chronic means long-term. You've been online so long your eyes have…
- Doom spending is buying a heated eye mask because the news was bad. The…
- True love is choosing the same person every day. They're choosing, daily, whether to…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You hyped your mate's mixtape. You've never listened to it. Neither has anyone. Including…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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