ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You got the ick because they ran for a bus.
You've been single three years and you run for nothing. Including opportunities.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your inbox reached zero once. The server was down. You were briefly free and…
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Listen to your body. It's asking for a biscuit and a lie-down. It's been…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Every relationship has a honeymoon period. Yours was the walk from the bar to…
- "We should get dinner sometime" is a beautiful promise. One of you will die…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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