ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You can do anything you set your mind to.
Your mind has set itself to lying down. Permanently. With snacks.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You got the ick because they ran for a bus. You've been single three…
- You "speak your truth". Your truth is mostly about the bin rota.
- Your favourite music is now called "a classic". So are you. It means old.
- You "romanticise studying". You've filmed it, lit it and soundtracked it. You haven't studied.
- You don't skip leg day. You skip every day. The legs know. The legs…
- The council listened to your feedback. Then it did the thing anyway, but with…
- Passive income takes a surprising amount of active effort. Mostly explaining it at parties…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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