ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
SUNDAY, 13 OCTOBER 1996
Your fitness app's AI coach called a four-minute walk "incredible progress".
It said the same when you opened it by accident. It'll keep saying it after you've gone, if nobody cancels the subscription.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Opposites attract. Then they argue about the thermostat for forty years. Whoever outlives the…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Running clears your head. Mostly of the idea that you're a runner.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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