ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're "manifesting abundance".
The only thing abundant is your payment reminders.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Your complaint has been escalated. It is now ignored by someone more senior.
- Start the week strong. Or at 9:14, camera off, pretending your face is a…
- You got a houseplant to "take care of something". It died. Even the plant…
- Think outside the box. The box had the budget. You're out here with a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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