ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You flipped a water bottle on Monday morning just to feel something.
It landed. Enjoy that. It's the last thing this week that will.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You call your mum "for advice". You call her for the Netflix password.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your Sunday-night plan for Monday was ambitious. Monday read it, laughed, and forwarded it…
- You sent "lol" to avoid having feelings. It worked. You feel nothing, said nothing,…
- Early access means you paid to watch someone not finish something. You do that…
- You typed "speak to an agent" nine times. The bot sent you a help…
- You said you're "built different". You're built the same. Just assembled worse.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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