ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You call yourself "a bit of a foodie".
You've ordered the same chicken 64 times this year. The driver knows your dog's name.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- You've "romanticised your life". It's a candle, a croissant and a playlist called "main…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- Every great company started in a garage. Yours will end there too. The car's…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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