ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You pre-ordered it for the cape.
The cape is now £3.99 for everyone else.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You did the Mannequin Challenge again for old times' sake. The standing still was…
- You've been "about to start the gym" since January. It's October. The gym has…
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- Quality family time: everyone on a different screen in the same room, harvested by…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Your bio says "foodie, traveller, dreamer". You've been abroad once, and you still talk…
- Abs are made in the kitchen. So are toasties. The toasties are undefeated.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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