ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
- Good things come to those who wait. You waited so long they went to…
- Your chatbot calls every one of your ideas "a really insightful question". Zack has…
- Teamwork makes the dream work. It also means six people are ready to blame…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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