ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You're ageing like a fine wine.
Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark, away from people.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Growing old is mandatory. Growing up was optional. You ticked "later". This is later.…
- Synergy is two departments confused about the same thing at once. They'll merge. You'll…
- You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month. The call took 94…
- You deleted the app "for good". That was 40 minutes ago. You've reinstalled it…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- Monday motivation is a myth. Like the Loch Ness Monster, a clean office microwave,…
- Your soulmate is out there. Currently leaving someone better on read.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
SEND ME ONE DEPRESSING THOUGHT EVERY MORNING
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