ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The return to office is completely optional.
So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet there you are, ranked 41st. They're "reviewing" 41st.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- The weekend is two days long. Monday is nine emotional days long, and you're…
- You don't have a type. You have a pattern. Your friends have a group…
- Make your money work for you. Yours quit in 2019. It works for your…
- Every subscription you forgot about still thinks of you monthly. That's more than your…
- You said you'd "touch grass" this weekend. You took a photo of grass, posted…
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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