ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 16 MAY 2005
Your call is important to us.
Not important enough to answer, but important.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Parenthood is a long journey from "mama" to "can you send money" to them…
- Both parties say this is the most important election of your lifetime. They said…
- Every company now has an AI assistant. It's the only member of staff nobody's…
- You said "we move". You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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