ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
ARCHIVED DEMOTIVATION
MONDAY, 30 MAY 2005
Every birthday is a gift.
The gift is one fewer birthday.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your savings account isn't empty. It's a memorial.
- You said you're "booked and busy". Booked for a dentist you'll cancel. Busy rewatching…
- You swore you'd never sound like your parents. You just said "because I said…
- Your birthday cake now needs a risk assessment. The candles are outnumbering the years…
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
- Your company's core values are printed on the wall. So nobody has to have…
- Some people run marathons. You run late, and you still come last.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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