ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You said "we move".
You've lived in the same bedroom since you were nine.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You're not getting older. You're getting closer. That's worse.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Your gym membership is the most expensive guilt you've ever bought. It renews automatically.…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
- Your banking app pauses slightly before opening. It's deciding how to tell you.
- You put "entrepreneur" in your bio. You've sold one pair of trainers on Vinted…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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