ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You typed "speak to an agent" nine times.
The bot sent you a help article about speaking to agents. The agents were let go in March.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- You quit your job to "find yourself". Found you. You're on your parents' sofa,…
- Love yourself first. Someone has to, and nobody else applied.
- You say you're "an old soul". You're 21. The only old thing about you…
- Kids grow up so fast. Except between 5pm and bedtime, when time stops and…
- Your financial advisor is a spreadsheet you opened once in January. It's been screaming…
- A tidy playroom lasts exactly as long as it takes to photograph. The photo…
- There's someone out there for everyone. Yours married someone else in 2019. They look…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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