ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
You negotiated your broadband bill down by $3 a month.
The call took 94 minutes. You break even in 2031. They put it back up in 2027.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your boss hasn't taken a sick day in ten years. He has, however, given…
- You've got a side hustle, a passion project and a podcast. Combined monthly income:…
- Find your purpose. It's in the drawer with the takeaway menus and a key…
- You started saying "oof" when you sit down. That's the countdown, out loud.
- You're "in your villain era". You returned a lukewarm coffee and apologised four times.…
- Beach body ready? The beach has been ready for four billion years. It isn't…
- You "grew out of" your old friends. They grew out of waiting for you…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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