ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Every company now has an AI assistant.
It's the only member of staff nobody's asked to come in on Fridays, and the only one getting your job.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Your step counter used to set goals. Now it just sends "Hello?" like a…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- You've been "circling back" since March. At this point you're space debris.
- The hardest part of working out is getting started. You've made sure it stays…
- The return to office is completely optional. So was the badge-swipe leaderboard, and yet…
- Consistency is key. You've said "I'll go tomorrow" for three years. It's the only…
- You bought the yoga mat. The cat uses it. The cat is more flexible,…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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