ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
Dating apps let you meet hundreds of people.
All of them are "just seeing where it goes". It goes nowhere. It went nowhere with you twice.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- Coffee doesn't fix Monday. It just makes sure you're fully conscious for it.
- Not all who wander are lost. You are. The map gave up.
- You have 2,000 followers and nobody to help you move. Your audience is very…
- Every birthday is a gift. The gift is one fewer birthday.
- Move fast and break things. You broke the coffee machine, the budget and your…
- Children are a blessing. They're also why the remote is in the bin and…
- Every parent has a favourite child. It's whichever one isn't currently talking.
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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