ISSUED DAILY SINCE NOBODY ASKED
DAILY DEMOTIVATION
A fresh disappointment every morning. Like the news, but more honest.
The customer is always right.
The customer is also on hold, forever, which is exactly how the company likes it.
— Zack, unqualified
VERIFIEDUNHELPFUL
PREVIOUSLY, ON YOUR DECLINE
- They're taking time away from social media. You know because they posted about it…
- Your desk plant is the only thing in the office still growing. When you…
- You're ageing like a fine wine. Expensive, slightly sour, best kept in the dark,…
- You left them on read "to be mysterious". They didn't notice. They were also…
- 2026 is the new 2016. Your knees did not get the memo. Your knees…
- You say "it's not that deep" a lot. Your Notes app has 300 entries…
- Rise and grind. Your teeth have been grinding all night. Your dentist bought a…
THE CALENDAR OF DESPAIR
Newsletter / Issue No. 445
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